Rum, brandy, or any other spirits, that have been lowered with water.
I have mislaid both Mrs. Byrne and the superior person's book of words, so this is from the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. I have landed on an interesting page, so there may be more of these.
As for how's life...
On the domestic front. Again. (Creative writing-wise, I'm taking the cheap way out.)
So, I'm picking Milo up from his perch, because he's been drinking water nonstop for half a minute, which when you think about it, is long time. Yes, we have a parrot with a drinking problem. (aka psychogenic polydypsia, which is, I'm afraid, a nervous disorder. Sad.)
OK, so I'm picking up a bird who has just had a good long drink, and I say, "You weigh a freaking ton."
Nick, standing a few feet away, turns toward me, looking puzzled: "Beware the wrath of a patient man?"
He also once heard me say, "I'll weave my nose hairs onto epaulets." Unfortunately, though it's a thing of beauty by itself, it would be far better if I could also remember what I really said. (But I think after hearing something like that, your brain goes into overload.)