I don't feel much like writing these days--or rather, I feel like writing but am filled with mental molasses. To wit--a subject line like that should have sent me racing to the page. But it took 3 days.
Anyway. The phrase "Get lost, you little bastards" applies to a growing list of wildlife. Surprisingly, I am having a war with bird species I have spent all spring trying to attract. I know that even if I had not been busy constructing a bird-friendly backyard (useful aside-if you attach a slinky around your bird feeder poles, squirrels have a very hard time getting to the feeders. They will, of course, but in the meantime, more birds), the robins and catbirds would have found the berries anyway. But unless they are taking a bath, these days they are on the enemy list. Over a stupendous blueberry crop. That is, stupendous amounts of huge green berries, aggravatingly few huge ripe berries.
I have no bird slinkies. So I thought maybe I could put some fluttering streamer-type things around the bush to deter them (spoiler alert--it's not working). So I found some caution tape and a few poles in the garage to flutter it from, but not enough. Then I remembered an abandoned little bird platform, put away because it was pre-slinky and a squirrel magnet. Here's the problem. It was not really put away. It was leaning against an elm tree, in the shade of a juniper. That's like having an ocean view if you're an earwig. And a bird platform is a lot of real estate. Reader, I moved it. I am still brushing nervously at the back of my neck, several showers (hot water, not more earwigs) later.
My blueberry strategy is to go out every five minutes and pick the single berry that has ripened during that time.